Red
by darkangel-silvermoon
Summary: <html><head></head>Scar tissue isn't just physical. Reid's never told anyone...why would he? Continuation from drabble "Dirt." M-rate for sexual assault. Please be warned. This may become slash, if you request. Thank you all for the support. Reid on, please and thank you.</html>
1. The Freak

Continuation of a drabble...

I own nothing.

This one's kinda weird for me. I don't do sexual abuse well. (But then again, who does?)

But i'll try just about anything once (in fiction that is.)

So...Reidemption, this one's for you.

Thank you all for the support.

If anyone likes this one, it will continue.

But I won't know if you don't review...

Reid/REVIEW/Enjoy

**Chevelle: **_**The Red**_

_**Pairing: Spencer**_

_**Rating: M (Violence/Sexual assault)**_

_**Gen: AU? High school...**_

_He coughs, spit and blood mixing down his chin. He grunts, already trying to push himself up, dirt and gravel biting his skin._

_"You just don't quit, do you Pixie?"_

_He tucks into himself a little too late as steel toe boot connects to groin._

_He gasps, trying to find the air...trying to remember how to breathe again. But his lungs aren't cooperating. Tears streak the sepia stains._

_"I'll teach you...always-" There is the clink of a belt buckle, the obscene hiss of a zipper bottoming out._

_"Spouting off at the mouth." The rustle of pants shucked down._

_Public high school for a genius...no one ever remembers the pioneers. This is taking it for the team._

_He bellows as he's pulled up by his hair, grunting as his mouth is forced open..._

_There are going to be bruises, blooming black and sickly green..._

_and the scars beyond the surface. The scars that will never heal._

_**/.../**_

"**Who hasn't heard the story of the misunderstood smart kid who gets assaulted just because...he's different. Another sob story in the bucket." Reid rips the label off his water bottle. Morgan leans forward, stilling Reid's hand.**

"**Kid, you've never told-"**

**Reid snaps back.**

"**Did you?" He hisses. Morgan's face draws in a grimace. "I didn't stop him. He did it. It's over." Reid's hand twitches under Morgan's caress.**

"**I could have told, but that just would have brought attention to my family. I had to protect my mom. She's the only thing I have." Reid looks down at the scraps of paper piled between them.**

**Morgan sighs.**

"**You keep somethin' that bottled up, it screws with you...I know." His body feels heavy as he remembers Carl's hands. What he did. What he was made to do.**

"**And you don't think anyone wants to hear- I mean somebody had to see the changes in you-ya know? But you sweep all the shit under the rug. Pretend it never happened and you'll do everything possible to protect yourself from the pain." Morgan's shoulders sag as he looks up to give Reid a small smile.**

"**You didn't deserve that kid. You had it hard enough. I'm sorry." **

**Reid's breath hitches as he tries not to cry.**

"**No need to apologize. It's not like you're the one who used me for a sex doll." Reid makes to get up from Morgan's kitchen table. Morgan grabs his wrist.**

"**Where do you think you're going?" His voice ghosts.**

"**I should get home. I'll see you in the-"**

"**Nu-huh, you're staying here. I wouldn't mind the company." Morgan lets go.**

"**How is it that whenever there's some major revelation on my part, there's a sleepover to follow?" Reid chuckles softly.**

**Morgan rolls his eyes.**

"**What can I say- I like to cuddle." Morgan jokes. **

"**You seriously don't mind?" Reid asks as he goes to grab his go bag from out of Morgan's dirt room.**

"**It's nice to wake up next to somebody, even if it is a bean pole with awesome hair." Morgan tries to shake Reid's stare as he straightens.**

"**What?" Morgan moves to the sink, avoiding the gaze.**

"**Thank you." Reid whispers. He wants to hug Morgan, but he's pretty sure at this moment, he'd cross some invisible line. And he always seems to do that.**

"**No problem kid, whatever helps right?" Morgan shrugs as he turns back to clean off the table.**

**Usually it's Morgan's job to be the tactile one. Tackling, teasing, touching...**

**Reid wraps his arms around Morgan's muscled frame, and Morgan leans into the touch. He presses his chin into the crook of Reid's neck, closing his eyes.**

**Reid feels Morgan's arms encircle him and his hands trek the expanse of his back.**

**It's okay to touch.**

**There's nothing wrong with them. **

**They will be okay...someday.**


	2. When Singled Out

**I own nothing...**

**M -rate for language and some sit.**

**Thank you for the support, it means a lot.**

**Reid/review/enjoy?**

It started with little things...

Name calling like "nerd," "bookie," "Geek,""Spock," "Pixie," "Fag"...

Stealing personal items: text books, homework, money.

It progressed naturally to shoving, hitting, kicking... cuts above the eye, broken glasses, torn clothing-

Spencer couldn't defend himself bodily, so, he padded himself with words.

Big words, small words, sentences, phrases, passages.

He refused to fight- what good would that do, other than inflame the situation. No, words were his weapon of choice, and _NO ONE _could take that way from him.

…...

His name was Jamie Bartlet.

It seemed as if he could pick Spencer out of any crowd, going out of his way to harm him.

And Reid would strike back with words.

Jamie was a bull of a boy, and he would use that to his advantage.

Reid had sickly bruises blooming in the most unlikely of places, the curve of his elbow, the crook of his neck, the round of his ass.

Muscling Spencer to do his dirty will, a strong hand gripping his shoulder as he presses him down to his knees.

"If you bite, I'll make sure everyone knows what a girl you really are." Jamie hissed as he unzipped his fly, his erection straining at the threads.

Spencer closes his eyes, willing himself to be anywhere else but here.

Three more months and he's gone. Three months and his hell would be over. Three more months and he's off to University.

After the first time, Spencer went numb, choking and sputtering for air as the salty bitter spray hit the back of his throat.

After the first time, there was more. There were hands and tongue and hurt...so much hurt. He had to disassociate the feeling of his body and the acts themselves... even if he's not sexual now, he doesn't want every intimate act to be tainted by this...torture.

After the first time...Reid's mouth always felt used. He felt dirty...but there was no one to tell. So he bore the pain...because, there was no one to protect himself but himself.

And that would have to be okay.

…...

Morgan scoffs as Reid towels his hair on the edge of his bed.

"What?" Reid cracks a grin.

"You look like a drowned rat." Morgan laughs as he grabs an extra pillow from his closet.

"You've used that line before." Reid smirks as Morgan rolls his eyes.

"Show off." Morgan sticks out his tongue.

Reid's brow furrows.

"Do you have-"

"Right here." Morgan goes to his dresser and takes out his pullover from college. Reid gives Morgan a small smile. The thing swamps Reid, but Reid doesn't seem to mind.

_In truth, it's soft and smells like Morgan. It's comfortable. _Not that Reid would ever admit to that. Morgan says nothing as he hands over the shirt.

"Alright, scoot-" Morgan says as Reid's head pops from the sweater. Something shifts in Morgan's chest as Reid shifts under the covers, taking his place. Morgan slides in next to him, encircling his arm around Reid's waist.

This is just comfort. Friends helping friends getting through the rough patches. At least, that's what Morgan tells himself as he snuggles close to Reid, reveling in the warmth that the contact brings.

"Kid?" Morgan murmurs softly. Reid cranes his neck so he could look up at Morgan.

"Yeah?" He lay his head on Morgan's chest, counting heartbeats.

"Thank you for you know-trustin' me. It means a lot." Morgan strokes Reid's hair. Reid nods.

"Ditto." He blinks, yawning. "Thank you for trusting me too."He buries his face in Morgan's side.

Morgan yawns, hugging Reid tight, the night wrapping around them both as they sleep.

**A/N: wondering, should this be slash or just a friendship fic?**


	3. It Filters Through: Part I

**Hi...I've finally got around to updating. YAY!**

**I own nothing...**

**so just sit back relax...enjoy and review please.**

**Thank you for all the support, this story runs on reviews.**

Morgan's startled awake by the warmth he feels.

Another body.

They're snuggled close as their body rises and falls with sleep.

He doesn't need a girl attached to him, expecting something he can't give. The sad thing is, he doesn't remember picking up a girl last let alone sleeping with her...

As he blinks, he tries to think of excuses he need to get out of whatever he did last night.

And then he realizes two things.

One: He didn't sleep with a girl.

Two: It's Reid nestled next to him.

And his body relaxes, as he enjoys the heat thrown off from Reid's skin. He hugs Reid closer.

Reid shifts, spooning against Morgan; Morgan presses his chin to the top of Reid's head loving the softness of his hair.

Morgan shutters. He likes Reid...in general.

His heart flutters at the internal acknowledgment. Feelings he's been trying to tamp down forever.

He likes Reid.

Reid yawns, rolling over to face Morgan.

"Ah!" Reid jerks as he fumbles out of the bed.

Morgan dies laughing as he scoots over to the edge to look down at a nonplussed genius sprawled out on the floor.

"Kid...you're high strung." Morgan gawfs as Reid scowls. Morgan lends him a hand, pulling him up off the floor.

He likes the way Reid looks so...disheveled in the morning...not as kempt as he's become of late. Reid rumples his hair as he straightens his crooked sleep pants. Morgan closes his eyes at the images of naughty going ons pop into his head...that is not the way you think of you straight best friends.

"Good morning to you too."Reid croaks.

"Good morning Pretty Boy." Morgan chuckles. "I'll go make some coffee." He pads out of the room. He laughs as Reid's face perks up at the mention.

…**...…...…...**

**Reid hums quietly to himself as he stirs sugar into his coffee, third cup this morning, the first at work. **

**Morgan's coffee's better, he decides as he takes a sip.**

**The hairs raise on the back of Reid's neck.**

**Someone's watching.**

**No. Morgan's watching.**

**His stomach kicks as he turns.**

"**Want some?"Reid raises a brow as he offers Morgan the mug; a smile flirting on his lips. **

**Morgan gives Reid a small smile as he leans against the door frame. He bites his lip, nervously taking a breath.**

"**What,do I have something-" Reid brushes at his mouth.**

**Morgan frowns.**

"**No."**

"**Derek?" Reid's eyes flick to Morgan's mouth, staying there. Morgan shutters as Reid searches – for what?**

**His heart ticks in his throat.**

"**I-" his voice is gruff as he pushed off the wall.**

"**Salutations my sweets. My shining knights are wanted at the-round...table. Am I interrupting?" Garcia slows her roll. She kisses Morgan on the cheek and ruffles Reid's hair.**

"**No-" Morgan breaks his gaze from Reid. He turns and walks out of the room.**

"**What's up with my Chocolate Love Bunny?"Garcia's brows.**

"**I don't know." Reid says softly, shrugging his shoulders. He follows Garcia to the roundtable.**

…**...…...…...**

_There was before...and after._

_Even before Carl, Derek had an inkling that he liked boys..._

_His eyes would wander over to Garett when they played football,traveling the flat plain of his chest as they played shirtless._

_Hell, it was normal to get hard while rough housing, right?_

_The rubbing and touching and all...right?_

_So why did he get sick late at night when the thought of doing things with Garrett, or Zavon, or Two Bit got him harder than any girl could ever make him._

_The thought would send him reeling in bliss and shame so bad. He swore to god he'd never do it again...but he always did._

_And then Carl found him...picked him up out the gutter._

_Derek told himself it was just payback...for all the dirty thoughts. _

_Paying back what was given; this was a duty, a way out._

_All he had to do was bear it and he'd be free._

_And then there was College...the late nights...drunken sloppy kisses, tangled limbs and hot shame to chase it down._

_Trying to fix this swirl of emotions that he just didn't know what to do with._

_Trying to erase the hurt and damage he's done._

_So after a string of girls...women really, he'd allow himself to fool around with a guy...nothing serious._

_Just open mouthed kissing and a bit of petting below the belt._

_And there's now._

_Reid's bringing to the surface emotions and feelings he thought he had a grip on. Thought he buried long ago._

_But here they are...and he's drowning in them._

_He's wanted Reid...physically and emotionally, for so long now, he can't remember when it all started._

_Actually, that's a lie._

_It started the day they met. Reid nervous and jumpy, wet behind the ears..._

_The teasing and joking...the touching._

_Morgan never expect them to be friends, let alone get this close._

_They sleep in same bed for heaven's sake._

_It hurts to be this close; but he doesn't think he could ever walk away._

_He's not gay...he's just appreciative of what he's got._

_At least that's what he tells himself._

_**So...what'd you think?**_


	4. It Filters Through: Part II

**I own nothing...**

**this one has swirled in my head for days...**

**so if you could kindly review after reading...good or bad.**

**I love that people favorite stories...but i'd really appreciate the feedback- it helps me figure out how to get better at this...so thank you in advance.**

**Reid, review, enjoy : ]**

Morgan's been avoiding Reid all day.

The case was brutal, simplistic and quickly wrapped. All anyone wanted to do was sleep...

Reid stare at the open book on his lap...even if they weren't there long, all cases had an effect on them. There was always some parent missing a child, child missing parent, sister, brother, loved one.

He couldn't sleep, the cogs were turning deeply in his head.

He looks across the plane at Morgan, whose shoulders slump as he cranks the volume on his ipod. Reid wants go over to Morgan and hug him, snuggle close; he wants to break down the restrictive wall Morgan has erected around himself.

Morgan looks up, catching Reid's eye. Morgan lowers his gaze...wanting to- but instead, he closes his eyes, drowning out the white noise that threaten to drag him under.

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**Reid can't stand this any longer.**

**The pilot tells the team to get ready to land; Reid keeps an eye on Morgan as he packs up his stuff.**

**Morgan's mouth twitches into a frown as he looks down at his hands.**

**Reid almost jumps sky high as a hand lands on his shoulder.**

"**Is everything alright with you and Morgan?" Hotch's voice is kept low, masked by the rumble of the jet's engines.**

**Reid shakes his head.**

"**I don't know. Morgan..." Reid's at a loss of words.**

**Hotch nods. **

"**I think you two should...talk?" Hotch's voice pulls with an undercurrent of suggestion as he arches a brow.**

**Reid nods slowly, his heart fluttering in his stomach.**

"**But isn't that against some kinda-"**

"**Reid, the B.A.U is a fine institution, but some of the policies aren't very... logical." Hotch picks his words carefully. "You can't restrain the heart. I don't have a problem with it...just don't let Strauss get wind of it and we're all fine." A small smile twitches on the edge of Hotch's mouth as Reid lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. **

"**Thanks Hotch." Reid says and Hotch claps him on the shoulder.**

"**Sulking does not become him." Hotch rolls his eyes and Reid snorts.**

**They all pack up to go.**

**Reid hangs back, waiting for Morgan to exit the plane.**

**Morgan looks up, and is shocked to see Reid waiting.**

"**Kid?" His heart speeds...why is this so hard? Because he knows this is something he should not want.**

"**I- could you take me...home?" Reid asks hopefully, clutching his Go bag nervously.**

**Morgan gives a small smile.**

"**Sure." He reaches to grab Reid's bag from him and their fingers brush-Morgan has to steady his breath as he takes it.**

**The ride is silent, uncomfortable as Morgan stares straight ahead. Reid looks over at him.**

**If he doesn't make the first move, they'd never get anywhere.**

"**Morgan, did I do something wrong?" His voice soft as he bites his lip.**

"**What- no Kid, you-" Morgan blinks as he looks over at Reid. "It's not you." he concedes.**

"**Then what is it? You've been avoiding me all day and I can't help but think that-" Reid's words tumbles out.**

"**Pretty Boy, it's not you." Morgan cuts him off, steady, calm.**

**Morgan pulls over, and turns off the car. His hands rest on the steering wheel as his face turns red.**

"**Morgan?" Worry creeps into Reid's voice.**

**Morgan closes his eyes and sighs.**

"**Ki- Reid."Morgan swallows, a look of pain stretches tight across his face. "I-I feel like Carl." Morgan looks up, to see Reid staring. He looks away first, body trembling.**

"**What? You're nothing like him." Reid says, panic rising.**

"**I am...I-"his voice shakes. "I keep thinking...and- six years, I'm just as disgusting! I'm just as bad."Morgan chokes as he breaks down and cries. Doubled over, gasps for breathe.**

"**Morgan." Reid says, touching Morgan softly on the shoulder. Morgan jerks as if burned.**

"**MORGAN LOOK AT ME!" Reid yells, voice stern and hard.**

**Morgan lifts his head slowly. He feels exposed. Raw. Vulnerable.**

"**Morgan, this is the last time I'm going to say this. You. Are. NOTHING. Like Carl. Got it?" Reid hisses.**

**Morgan stares at him blankly.**

"**Now, we're going to try this again. Morgan, what's wrong?"**

**Morgan's chest heaves, his eyes sliding closed again, he lets his head loll against the headrest.**

"**You're my best friend, you do know that right?" Morgan says tiredly.**

"**Yeah, same to you." Reid says quickly.**

"**I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."Morgan takes deep breathes as he opens his eyes. Ready to push through this.**

"**I- keep having thoughts about us...and it's wrong. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't be having those thoughts about my best friend. And even if...there was some way- there's...I'm way older than...I'm just like him." Morgan chokes on another sob.**

"**Morgan? You do know that six years really isn't that much of an age difference. Especially considering I'm way past the age of consent." Reid arches a brow. Morgan frowns.**

"**The "Kid" thing- that's a moniker- a pet name. That does not indicate any perversion on your part. If I was offended, I would say something. I like it...you're the only one who can get away with that you know?" Reid gives a small laugh. Morgan gives a weak smile.**

"**And have you ever considered the possibility that I could have those same feelings in return?" Reid presses.**

**Morgan looks at him.**

"**But you're str-"**

"**No. You assume my sexuality, or sexual preference. Just like I did you." Reid says quietly. "It doesn't help that this scares me to death.. . I mean to have those feelings and not know what the other person's thinking?" Reid frowns a bit.**

"**I like you Morgan. And-"Reid's cut off as Morgan leans in to kiss Reid chastely on the lips.**

**Morgan pulls back and smiles.**

"**The Dr. Spencer Reid speechless for once?" Morgan chuckles as Reid rolls his eyes.**

**He kisses Morgan back, except it's deeper this time. Sweet, hard and soft at the **_samae_** time. Reid groans softly and Morgan takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss- **

**It's hard, silky, soft and mind blowing as they imagined it should be.**

**Reid pulls back, gasping for air...**

"**You're not Carl." He pants as he stares Morgan in the eyes.**

**Morgan nods, shaking.**

**Morgan smiles as he buckles back up and gets ready to take Reid home.**

**He's no Carl.**

_A/N: So...what do you think? Good, bad...i need to stop blabbing so you can review? I appreciate all the support, I really do. Thank you all._


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